Introduction to Us……Part I

The initial entries are an introduction to who we are and our earlier life. I felt it was important to share this so that you, the reader, could get an inside look into us. You may find the beginning boring but believe me….It gets interesting. You will see how naive I was and how we both fell into the pattern of appeasement and placating. Bare with me if you will………

My husband and I actually met at work. We both worked in a computer room, he worked second shift while I worked third shift. It all started by us developing a friendship. He would occasionally stay after and just chat with me. We became very good friends. I could honestly say that he became my best friend. I was starting to develop stronger feelings for him and apparently he was feeling the same way about me. We were both pretty shy I guess, so neither really “officially” mentioned the word dating. My roommates would sit and laugh at us.

He would come to our apartment and we would sit and watch Star Trek. We both enjoy Sci-Fi and of course that included being a closet Trekkie I suppose. He would sit on one end of the couch and I on the other. I remember one time we were eating popcorn and my hand accidentally touched his in the bowl. It startled me so that I jerked my hand out of the bowl throwing popcorn everywhere. He laughed at me. We had become such good friends that I had shared with him certain events that had taken place in my childhood.

I came from a very abusive background. I had been beaten pretty badly by my stepmother and sexually abused by another family member from the age of 3 to 13. My husband was only the second person I had really ever dated. Here I am at the tender age of 28. He never really talked much about his mother. He did talk about his father. When he did mention her he would just say she was nuts.

Fast forward to the first time I met his parents. We had become good friends and been dating for almost a year and a half. Mind you I was nervous, I knew who his parents were by now. I was intimidated. The day I was invited over his mom had a physical therapy appointment at one of the local bases. It was about a 40 minute drive to the base, an hour appointment and a 40 minute drive back to their house.

I don’t think I said two words the whole time in the car. She talked the entire time and talked fast. She told me about the adoptions of their two sons, loosing their first baby, the many miscarriages that she had, about her husband’s military career and my husbands time in college. The only thought I had at the time was “what in the world is this women on.” She was apparently in a manic high phase which I didn’t know about yet. I was tolerated at first because they didn’t really feel that my husband was serious about me. It was okay for him to be friends and we were co-workers so there had to be some level of involvement. I didn’t see the true her until we decided to get married.

~ by wifeofngh on May 31, 2008.